‘LAKES VENUE (WATER IN PLAY ON EIGHT HOLES) REFLECTED IN LOST BALL COUNT’

And another Follies member has been press ganged into journalism, kindly bear that in mind as you read on. Also be aware that the editorial licence consisted solely of ‘you write it and I’ll print it’

So whilst loosely based on fact, certain liberties may have been taken with the below report and whilst every effort to protect sensitive identities could have been taken, none was.

Well 17 eager golfers arrived at Thorney Lakes for a midday breakfast. Now I know I’m new to retirement but really? Clearly I have to re-set my body clock. Just the 9 hole fry up this year but all good apart from Steve Preston not liking the look of his tomato skin – this may have led to him and John Dexter both claiming the same cup of tea!

It was a welcome return for those unable to play last month and back in charge for the welcome and intros was Les, with news of another liquid prize kindly donated by Martin. Nearest the pin in two on the 16th to signal his imminent 60th birthday – cheers Martin

There was the usual gaggle of putters looking for inspiration prior to setting out to a backdrop of RAF jets and a strengthening breeze.

Some found it more difficult to get out of the car park to the 1st tee than others, let’s just call them the Buggy Boys.

An alleged parking incident, this time involving a trolley was reported from the 13th tee box but the culprit has been let off with a warning.

The round consisted as usual with the sublime more often followed by the ridiculous but a par on a par 5 celebration was heard across the course, let’s just say it was one of those hardy few in shorts. Another par, this time in 4, was I’m told largely due to a hugely favourable ricochet from a tree – perhaps it was a PB?

Which brings me to the Pillbox hole, a Dad’s Army photo

(don’t tell them your name Jim) was I thought the only way this WW11 relic would get a mention but No! Two players managed to hit it, with JK receiving an immovable object ruling from on course referee / caddy Kevin Hingle.

The total lost ball count was 36 – Les may care to bear this in mind when considering booking any 2023 venues that contain the words Lakes and Water. It should be noted that one group’s total of 6 contained 5 from one player, who also seemed to like 7 as a score…………..let’s just call him Top Cat

Most groups however reported a strong ‘found’ ball count to offset and even finish up neutral………..always good words these days.

Geoff’s well deserved birdie celebration on the par 5, 9th

And finally, Brian’s par on the par 3, 11th by sinking a 35 footer is worth a mention.

So there you have it, a thoroughly enjoyable day despite the wind requiring a driver off one par three tee for this player at least – prizes as follows:

Nearest the Pin – John Dexter

Nearest the Pin in two – Jon Kelly

Winner – Martin Zebedee (3 balls)

Second – John Dexter (already had a prize on the day)

Third – Geoff Delany (2 balls)

Fourth – Paul Bellinger (1 ball)

A quick reminder about submitting entries for the Shirtie award, I’m sure Chris is looking forward to judging entries once again from all over the world

Finally I would like to share a purely personal view that it would indeed be poor form if any annual subs were not paid before the third fixture of the season

See you all at Rutland Water!

A beautiful and cloudless spring afternoon at Spalding Golf Club greeted 16 Follies for the first event of the 2022 season. We welcomed 5 new players – Jim Daley, Philip Parker, Darren Pears, Keith Lambert and Paul Bellinger. Due to Covid we had some notable absentees, and we wish them all a speedy recovery. Geoff Delaney and David West were entrusted with running the day. They promptly promoted themselves from the last group to going out first! Who was it that said, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”?

Anyway, on to the golf. David West set the tone with a lovely drive straight down the first. His new driving swing worked well, and during his round he frequently showed his playing partners how to find the middle of the fairway. David scored 34 points which secured him 3rd place. Philip Parker also scored 34 and came 2nd on countback but the winner of the day was Colin Humphries with a magnificent 38 points. Nearest the pin was won by Richard Parker who took home the bottle of gin. Geoff Delaney was actually closer but was unfortunately 2 inches off the green! Richard didn’t show much sympathy pointing out he had hit a sand wedge whereas Geoff had used a 6 iron!

A special 4th place prize was given to Dave Ballard. The prize was the return of one of his head covers which he apparently tried several times to lose during his round. Nobody submitted an early entry to the annual Bunker Flunker competition but with the rest of the season ahead of us there is plenty of time yet.

After the golf we all had a hearty meal. Excellent value at £27 all in. Thanks to the Les for negotiating the deal and laying on the sunshine.

On to Thorney Lakes for the next outing on Thursday 21st April.