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15 enthusiastic golfers arrived for the annual visit to Tydd St Giles. Unlike last year where the journey involved a very interesting route driving through multiple small lanes and across the drains, Martin and Les had provided an alternative route and so all golfers arrived in a much more relaxed manner!

The other topic of conversation as the golfers tucked into their welcome bacon rolls and coffee was the weather. Last year’s attendees reminisced about the terrible rain last year but not so today. As the first tee time approached the weather was hot and sunny and we were treated to a lovely summer afternoon with much anticipation of a day of low scores.

Tydd is a good complex with plenty of facilities including lodges for those looking for a golfing break. The course provided a fair challenge with plenty of opportunities to score but also opportunities to lose plenty of balls out of bounds and in the trees. The greens were in good condition, always a good sign.

A specific challenge on the day was locating your ball if it landed in the trees particularly when you happened to be playing the same ball as a group coming in the opposite direction. Cries of ‘mine is the ball with the 3 stripes’ were heard from Jon and Trevor! Apparently the situation was amicably resolved.

Some other notable highlights from the day include Roy Fletcher chipping in for birdie on 18 for 5 points. Dave Harrison definitely had a round of 2 halves. 6 points on the front 9 and a remarkable 24 on the back nine, what a comeback! The bucket and spade award went to Sean who went into numerous bunkers on the day, typified by the first hole which consisted of a drive, 4 bunker shots from 3 different bunkers and 1 putt! Apparently Les took on the role of tree surgeon for the day, the best example when his drive hit a tree on one side of the fairway only to ricochet to the rough on the other side.

After the golfers had tucked into the traditional ham egg and chips followed by cheesecake, as master of ceremonies, Les started by announcing the winner of the nearest the pin prize on the 16th hole. The first group (Martin) had left a note on the green that they had all missed the green so as not to deprive Dave West of his customary prize! The second group also complied!

However, the winner of nearest the pin on the day in the 3rd group was Paul Flanders who deservedly won 2 bottles of wine with the winning shot to a tricky green. The ‘nearly but not quite award’ went to Graham Tooke who was apparently very close to the pin but unfortunately just off the green.

The results on the day were:

1st – Geoff Delaney -38 points
2nd – Graham Tooke – 37 points
3rd – Richard Parker – 35 points – this was his first podium finish since returning to Follies , well done.

Well played to all the winners on the day.

In closing, Les noted that he and Geoff were still chasing Paul at the top of the leaderboard with it all still to play for over the next few outings with only 5 points separating the top 3.

The next event is at Rutland Water on 20th September.

Thanks to Les for organising a great day out as usual.

Report by Sean.

21 members arrived at Thorney Lakes to near perfect weather for golf. Beautiful sunshine and no wind to speak of.

All sat down (other than John Dexter) for a mini breakfast with tea and coffee before the golf began. As a member of Thorney Lakes, did John know something the rest of us didn’t? Clearly not as for £25 for golf and a great breakfast, it must be the best deal of this year’s campaign, well done Les for negotiating this.

Upon asking 2 members of Thorney Lakes for some information and tips about the course, all we got was the usual ‘keep it on the fairway and stay out of the rough and the water’ – thanks guys!

During Breakfast Trevor Chapman told of a lesson where he was instructed to try a 2 rather than his usual 3 knuckle golf grip, Turns out this was poor advice and he’s back to being 3 knuckle Trevor. What a waste of £70 that was!

To avoid slow play Les instructed all to abide by the 3 minute search for a lost ball rule and move forward as quickly as possible.

With all the formalities and pre match banter complete, the serious matter of playing golf arrived.

Dave B and Roy F turned up for their tee time, only to find that Alan W was missing! As the previous group disappeared into the distance 3 knuckles Trevor went off to find him. In the meantime Dave and Roy teed off, but unfortunately for Roy his first drive went into the lake by the 18th green and his provisional couldn’t be found, resulting in a blob on the 1st. Thankfully Trevor was able to track down Alan and he eventually joined us on the fairway.

Geoff D played alongside Richard C who kept saying something he couldn’t quite understand, but strangely had a slight northern accent. Apparently Richard was saying ‘there’s plenty of room down the left’. Turns out Richard worked in Middlesbrough for 6 years, Wey Aye man!

Nearest the pin was on the 17th and Les was just a few yards from the hole, but wait a minute, wasn’t that a provisional? Yes it was, leaving Richard C with the prize. Hard luck Les!

Roy F tees off on the 16th, only to be told by Dave and Alan that it didn’t clear the ditch. A provisional is played. Alan’s drive goes into the ditch to the left. Following Les’s instruction, spending 2mins 59secs looking, both balls were declared lost. Alan took a drop and following an air shot, started shouting profanities at the stinging nettles whilst proceeding to destroy them with his club. Meanwhile Roy F found his first ball circa 40yds further on from the ditch! Sorry Roy!

Well done to Les and Dave W, this being the first time they have finished the 18th hole. Only Paul F managed to par this hole with 10 players scoring 8 or more, highlighting how tough it is! In fact, with unforgiving rough and plenty of other hazards to negotiate, resulting in many lost balls, the course did play hard on the day, demonstrated by the generally low scores recorded. However, a few played very well as confirmed by the following results:

Dave West 37pts – 3rd on countback
Jon Kelly 37pts – 2nd
Les Wells 40pts- 1st

Well done Les, Jon and Dave, great scores on a tough and demanding course.

With 3 events remaining it’s all to play for at the top of the Leaderboard with Les Wells 109pts, Paul Flanders 105pts and Dave Harrison 104pts leading the way. The next event is at Tydd St Giles on the 16th August so clear your diaries and get out and play some golf!

Report by Dave B.

Trevor’s golf has its up and downs but he’s gone a stage further with his Shirtie entry:

Somebody Told Me that Martin had his Shirtie on at the Killers at the O2 recently. He was told to Smile Like You Mean It but he’s only Human and always our Mr Brightside.

We had a large turnout for the June event at Elton Furze to play for the normal monthly Stableford points competition plus the annual President’s Cup which is played for in medal format.

The course looked in very good condition with the recent sunshine after the endless spring rainfall. The scoring was excellent although some people accidently disqualified themselves from the President’s Cup by ‘picking up’ once they could not score any Stableford points (doh!).

On to the winners….

Monthly Stableford

· Steve Walker 36 points

· Les Wells 35 points

· Richard Cheng 33 points

President’s Cup

· Winner Geoff Delaney Nett 70 strokes

Follies tradition dictates that any player can win only one prize on each outing. Dave Harrison (who scored 40 points) chose to take the prize for winning nearest the pin on the 2nd and Andy Izod (who scored 34 points) chose the special prize (to celebrate Les’s 70th) for nearest the pin on the 15th.

The team conspired to create some memorable moments causing great hilarity. Charlie Johnson entertained the gallery on patio by playing from one greenside bunker to the other on the 18th, Yim Kong managed to lose 6 Taylor Made golf balls, Richard Parker found his second shot on the 4th about a foot underground in a greenside rabbit burrow and Paul Flanders made himself an early contender for bunker flunker because he took 4 shots to get out of a bunker on the 9th. However, saving the best until last, Graham Tooke had us in stitches as he described raking the bunker backwards on the 12th (apparently this is the way in New Zealand) when he tripped on the bottom step and ended up nearly giving himself a cheap thrill with the rake holder! Very ooh err, Matron!

Paul Flanders currently leads the 2024 season standings with 103 points from three rounds with Les Well a close second on 101. All to play for over the rest of the season!

The next outing is on 26th July at Thorney Lakes. Details to follow.

Report by Richard Parker (or is Parker just his pen name)

“Dave Ballard in the rain forests of Costa Rica.”

Chris Munro “All the way from Mexico – well actually Roccos Crazy Golf in Jersey – proudly showing off my winning card having beaten my brother!”

Graham Tooke advises “I think my explanation of Fritz Follies, Handicaps and Stableford was lost in translation!”

We sadly lost our President and friend last month. Here’s a photo (supplied by Keith Foster) from the early 1980s of Jimmy Browning, Bernie, Brian Bates and Pete Dowdell.

There are more old photos added under the Photos tab.

So we gathered at Stoke Rochford at the first event since the sad news of Bernard’s passing. 18 took part as we continue his ‘Follies’ legacy with I’m sure the same objectives as have applied since 1977 – friendly competition without taking golf too seriously.

The course was in great shape with its spectacular setting and views of Stoke Rochford Hall, we are here just before their centenary celebrations on a lovely sunny day, starting in the traditional way with a bacon roll and a coffee. A warm welcome to the latest Follies recruit, Yim Kong.

Richard Chang triumphed here last year with 37 points but none of us could live with the pace set by Paul Flanders who followed up his winning 38 points at Ramsey with a magnificent 40 points off his 15.6 handicap. In fact Paul’s only weakness appears to be the first hole as he has failed to score on either of them so far! His round included a birdie but Colin Keal managed three of them! Highest points on an individual hole though went to Trevor with his birdie on the 17th which netted him a cool 5 points.

Second place on the day went on countback to Dave Ballard with 35 points (20 after the turn) matched by Kevin Hingle on 35 but 18 after the turn. It was a joy to witness Kevin accumulate 16 points on the final 6 holes and we wish him well when he represents England in Australia in August.

Give a man a marker post :

Nearest the Pin bottle prize went to Colin Keal with one of the closest I’ve seen in a long while, naturally he holed the putt.

As usual there are some antics on the course to report, let’s start by going back to Paul again. Not only did he accumulate 40 points but he was saved twice! Firstly a passing greenkeeper stepped in to halt Paul’s runaway trolley and then the kind lady at the halfway house carried out running repairs to his detached shoe sole with Sellotape! At mention of the halfway house of course I have to praise the cakes. Now some Society’s fill up the next tee box bin with empty cans…………with the Follies it was full of paper napkins and cake crumbs! I can tell you that the delicious selection of home baked cakes was definitely the highlight of your scribe’s round.

Take note everyone that the bunker flunker award requires everyone to keep taking bunker shots until the ball emerges, no pick- ups allowed. Currently Kevin’s four is the most taken so far but it is still early in the season. Thankfully there is no wooden spoon ‘award’ for putting because having reached the eighth green in 3 but walking off with a 7, I would be in contention!

The longest story of the day belongs to Richard and Jim’s painful description of how they came to play each other’s ball. Neither were contenders for prizes on the day so it is left to the disciplinary panel to decide at a later date on any action to be taken. Golf can be a dangerous game, especially after a shout of “Fore Right” but thankfully Jon’s ball just gently trickled between the shoes of those waiting on the next tee. There are some steep slopes on this course but quite what John Dexter was up to I’m not sure. He reportedly over balanced and fell but thankfully no damage done other than to pride.

An old adage came to mind early in our round – Jon’s tee shot to the par three third was shall we say not the prettiest we’d ever seen but it finished up on the green. So we were reminded that it is not how but how many!

Finally I will leave you with something I did not realise until told recently – when it comes to stroke index they are split over the two nines with all evens followed by all odd numbers or vice versa. Possibly quite interesting but I can hear some of you saying quite useless!

Next outing is at Elton Furze on Friday 28 June where as well as the normal Stableford competition, we will be competing for the President’s Cup – a medal competition with the current champion Martin Zebedee hoping no doubt to triumph again.

RIP Bernie – Fritz Follies founder and champion in 1989.

Report by Graham Tooke.

PS There’s a number of new photos added under the Photos tab.

Les has been sporting his Shirt out East in Bangkok

Jon gets the year going with the Shirt saving lives in Sydney

At last! Our 2024 season finally got underway at Ramsey Golf Club (Friday 28th April) after the cancellation of Matchday 1 at Sleaford due to waterlogging. We saw 17 golfers eager to tee off, all united in their silent intent of laying down a decent score to avoid the end-of-season wooden spoon award!

A very warm welcome was extended to our new members Terry Barber and Charlie Johnson, who carded very credible scores and were extremely amiable company.

The weather couldn’t quite make up its mind at the start: cool overcast, light brief showers, warm sun. This baffled the final group (Colin, Dave, Terry, Jim) who danced their own version of the Hokey Cokey (wet weather gear on/off/on etc and brollies up/down/up etc) before they started. Fortunately for all, by the turn most of us had disrobed slightly and dry conditions prevailed to the end.

The course played surprisingly well in spite of the Spring deluge. Fairways were running fair, bunkers well raked and playable though the greens were a little slow, catching out your reporter repeatedly! BASH them uphill!

Our apparent tradition of a high quota of members’ tee shots off the 1st succumbing to the trees on the left, and the vicar’s garden, was continued. Not to be outdone, although Messrs Daley and Tooke’s drives boomed down the middle of the fairway their seconds were to follow suit, and inevitably 2 blobs followed!

Good golf was witnessed by all, with 9 players recording 30+ points. Our star performer was Paul Flanders who made a clean sweep of the honours. On his way to carding a splendid 85 (nett 68) for 38 Stapleford he also scooped ‘nearest the pin’ 13th with a fine shot to 25’. Well done, and an obligatory handicap review is underway! Paul’s 38 points with 3 birdies is all the more noteworthy given he had bagged only 5 points by hole 4, before the after burners came on. Inexplicably he declined a sleeve of balls for a bottle of gin!

Second place went to Alan Wensak with 35 Stapleford. Third place was a close run thing between Sean Melia and Les Wells, both with 34 points, with Sean taking it on countback.

Particular mention of Terry who didn’t need his putter on the ‘nearest the pin’ having lobbed in from 35 yards! ‘Get in the hole’ and ‘Way to go’, as our American cousins are fond of saying.

Trees may be the bane of a golfer’s otherwise perfect round (and other things) but our final grouping proved the power of talking to your ball in flight, since all, with one exception, popped out onto fairways after striking wood. The exception being Jim’s thunderous heave left off the 10th that was unexpectedly found by Colin walking down the right hand side rough. Some 90 degree ricochet! Continuing praise of Colin, we know he is your ideal playing partner. Apart from being affable and amiable, his eyesight is 20/20, evidenced by finding your scribe’s balls on numerous occasions in the most hidden of places!

The only dark cloud on an otherwise pleasant day was seeing brown sauce applied by some to their bacon butties! One for the Etiquette Committee to rule on, please!

1st Paul Flanders – 38 pts.

2nd Alan Wensak – 35 pts.

3rd Sean Melia – 34 pts. (on countback)

Nearest the Pin – Paul Flanders

Our next outing is at Stoke Rochford on Friday 17th May (13:25 tee off) where shorts and sun cream are confidently predicted in use. FYI Richard Cheng was triumphant here last year with 37 points.

(Jim Daley match reporter)