Another entry from our own Artful Dodger Jon

Please let me have your entries as they become available and I’ll feed them into the site between matchdays.

Matchday 5 of the Follies Trophy was looking promising with Les Wells confirming 6 groups of 3 with respective tee times by email on 19th July. However, by the actual start, Les had dealt with various comings and goings and a final order of 3 groups of 3 and 2 groups of 4 was published.

There was just one more obstacle to overcome, the Ramsey Bowls & Golf Club were hosting a very well supported bowls match which, when combined with the regular golf members making good use of the cooler weather, all on site car parking was at its limit, some of our members having to park in public areas off site, hope there were no rules broken and everyone got away without penalty; more than can be said about events that followed.
The weather was now almost perfect for golf, as were the green fairways and superb
greens, the Ramsey reservoir had indeed been made good use of. Thankfully the
heatwave having subsided, the fine Ramsey club offering very pleasant alfresco
surroundings for the traditional bacon rolls and coffee. The Ramsey club was unable
to provide in house catering for us on this occasion and so arrangements had been
made with a local cafe’ to provide and serve our breakfast and coffee.
Just prior to “breakfast” being served, Les was addressing the assembled group of
middle to senior age golfers, confirming that due to the prolonged hot and dry
weather, the fairways in some areas had developed large surface cracks which had
been deemed unnatural hazards, therefore any ball found to be unplayable in these
situations, relief could be taken of no more than 6 inches, as per winter preferred lie
rules.
At this point, with everyone quietly listening to this important detail, the young
waitress, now in the midst of the group serving coffee, immediately and vociferously
retorted “ is that a man’s 6 inches or a women’s?” The coffee (some now spilt) was
consumed with much mirth and serious debate as to whether the comment was valid.
And so to the practice putting green and first tee the party moved off, having
generally agreed that for £28.50 the bacon rolls and coffee, together with the
unsolicited humour, was a very good start to proceedings.
As the first group moved off to the tee box for a 13.00 start, the following groups
were carrying out mandatory driver practice swings. Kevin Hingle, having observed
the first group teeing off with various degrees of success, obviously thought that a
more cushioned shot was required, it seemed his approach was to leave his driver
head cover on. Unfortunately, on his practice swing the head cover was last seen
heading towards Upwood.
Back on the first tee, Geoff Delany was getting things underway, his address was
faultless, his front foot 90 degrees to the ball, his back foot heel just off the ground on
completing his drive, – sadly the vicar was not expecting a golf ball in the
vicarage, perhaps even entering through an open Velux window!
Things slightly improved for Geoff on the 2nd but he went in the long bunker in
front of the green. On his third attempt to get back on the green he decided to go
sideways but thinned it, squarely hitting a tree trunk, ending up just off the green,
claiming it was intentional by playing an “in-off”.
On the 18th he demonstrated course management at its very best, a lay up onto the
ladies tee followed by a shot to the fairway and an approach stone dead for a par. No
need for Geoff to take a risky shot over the trees!
Colin Humphries and Geoff Delany appeared to be in competition for the best golfing
titfer, could this be a new competition.

Paul Flanders, having been allocated to group 5 (my group), unfortunately was
finding the initial holes a little difficult with a 9 on the first hole. Obviously still
suffering a little stress, it was only thanks to intervention from Roy Fletcher on the
par 3 second, that he avoided a penalty before striking the ball off the tee. Roy
explaining that the ball should be in between the tee box markers when teeing off.
His woes continued on the 3rd tee when an airshot was noted but not recorded, thanks
to gracious behaviour from Brian Bates, when the word Mulligan was heard. In
fairness to Paul he did ask what a Mulligan was. (I hope this divulgence does not
affect scoring Les!).
The remainder of Paul’s round was a reminder that there really is a golfer lurking here
by playing some fine golf.
It was becoming obvious as “our” round progressed that Roy Fletcher was again in
hot form, consistently scoring with some excellent golf. What an example for all of
us from this fine 88 year old gent.
Conversely, Gabe was intent on securing the bunker flunker on the 13th. Having
driven well, there was excitement as his ball looked promising to take nearest the pin
only to roll through the green, coming to rest just past a rear bunker. His pitch back
on was short and 8 shots later with his ball eventually back on the green, he asked
Brian to “pick-up”. Surely a record!
It has to be recorded that on the 18th Gabe laid up next to the footbridge, resting on a
footpath allowing relief without penalty. He duly hit his 2nd in the ditch, finally
getting on the fairway in 4. His approach shot was promising but went through the
green leaving a 55 foot putt for 6 to finish the round — he made it! (check the card Les
6 not 5).
Unfortunately I have no distance information but Trevor Chapman was quietly
pleased to confirm that on the 5th he had a roller for a 4 and on the 16th he putted out
from a bunker, nice work Trevor.
The very pleasant gathering on the 19th was eagerly awaiting Les’s computations
when stories were heard about potential discrepancies with calibration of certain
Garmin range finding watches. Both Richard Parker and Andy McHattie agreeing
something was wrong causing incorrect club selection to the detriment of their
rounds. I am sure the FF Golf Society can approach Garmin for suitable
compensation.
Results and standings.
1st Roy Fletcher 43 pts
2nd Dave Ballard 41 pts
3rd John Dexter 40 pts on countback from Jim Daley & Graham Tooke
Nearest the Pin : Les Wells – note that Graham Tooke was leading for one shot as I
followed his tee shot in the next group
Fritz Follies Trophy Standings – top 10:
Member name Total
Dave Ballard 111
Graham Tooke 110
John Dexter 109
David West 108
Roy Fletcher 108
Jim Daley 107
Geoff Delany 104
Colin Humphries 103
Jon Kelly 101
Les Wells 101
Let’s hope for good weather and we can all look forward to the next outing at Stoke Rochford on 19th August.
Submitted by Gabe Stokes with additions from Graham Tooke, Les Wells and Trevor Chapman.

In fact, it’s been open a while but with one thing and another, entries have been slow. However, that’s about to change as Follies get out and about and do things that have been denied to us for the last couple of years. Chris has made a fast start with Das Shirtie above.

Please let me have your entries as they become available and I’ll feed them into the site between matchdays.

Matchday 4 of the Follies Trophy ran alongside this year’s President’s Cup and attracted a bumper turnout of 18 Follies at Elton Furze.

Today saw the welcome return of Sean Melia – a mere 29 years since he last appeared back in September 1993. Apparently he’s been busy !

Roy Fletcher, having left his bottle of water still cooling at home in his fridge, purchased a bottle at the bar and carefully put it in his cooler bag with his banana. Disaster struck somewhere on the first 9 when cooler bag & contents went AWOL. He did get his bag back from the pro shop at the end of the round – it having been handed in – but it was empty.

A disturbing sight greeted the opening group on the 13th but we knew there was no-one ahead of us and no Follie would ever behave in such a fashion.

There was only one disqualification in the President’s Cup when Colin Keal picked up on the 6th – I’m told most seasons half a dozen or so typically pick up. Maybe most of us are learning…

David Oliver walked the back 9 with the final group as he is recovering from a back injury. Gabe confessed afterwards that he had found David’s course knowledge very useful and made good use of his advice.

Chris Munro also appeared at the final hole to oversee his special prize to the winner of the Net aggregate of all the Par 3s and witnessed Trevor checking Jon’s card and revising upwards the total on both the front and back halves.

Jim Daley quite rightly was very pleased with his excellent birdie on the 13th.

However, 10 minutes after playing the 18th, a dispute between Graham & Jim was still in progress regarding score card issues. Thankfully David was on hand to resolve things amicably.

One of my least favourite golfing things reappeared early on – the air shot. Surely, we won’t see that ever again… There was no sign of my favourite – Nearest The Pin in 2 on 16th. Maybe next year someone will sponsor such a thing…

Results:

President’s Cup
Trevor – net score of 68.40
just ahead of Dave Ballard 68.60, Jim Daley 68.80, Les Wells 70.60 and Geoff Delany 71.40.

Nearest Pin 5th
Dave West.

Chris Munro special prize – Net aggregate of all the Par 3s
Colin Keal – net 8
just ahead of Dave Ballard net 9.

Follies Trophy
Trevor Chapman 39
Dave Ballard 37
Graham Tooke 36 on countback
Darren Pears 36
Jim Daley 36

Next up is Matchday 5 on Friday 22nd July at Ramsey Golf Club.

The runners and riders gathered for the annual RW Handicap, returning member Paul Flanders kicked off matters alongside his partners Darren Pears (don’t think we have met!) and our honourable website nerd Mr Jon Kelly, mayhem commenced.

Despite a spell of inclement weather we managed, as usual, to avoid the worst of it, indeed I teed off with enough wet weather gear for a visit to Old Trafford (Jon, if you were not aware, based in Manchester and known as the Theatre of Dreams!!).

The course was in extremely good condition, it was certainly the best I have known it, ready for a close competition between the 19 participants – think again. A certain Dave West is making it a one horse race, with a score of 41 points, 26 after the first nine holes!!! Well done Dave, you are now 3/1 on with Bet-Fred for the Follies Trophy, opening up a 6 point gap at the top of the table.

There was an issue in the starting gates prior to arrival, with our Treasurer moved up the field due to a late start from Mr Richard Parker, I am unsure as the reason for his late arrival but suggested he might be doing a bit of consultancy en-route.

Brian Bates joined me alongside Graham Tooke and Dave Ballard, we all started very quietly in comparison to the group ahead where on hole 2 Trevor could be seen remonstrating with his trusty hybrid eventually attempting to throw it into his bag, unfortunately he missed. We had a few fireworks on the first par 3, Brian making a bid for bunker flunker with I think 6 shots to get out, he thought 5!!

Other highlights of the day included Paul Flanders winning a bottle of champagne (kindly donated by Paul Bellinger for his recent 60th birthday) for nearest the pin in two on the 14th. After hitting the green, PF did say “it might be the same bottle I bought him, coming back to me!” I am told he also caused some drama on the par 3 over the water, including a bunker shot with his back to the hole, eventually putting out for 6!

I felt it was one of our better days at Rutland Water and I would like to take this opportunity of thanking my playing partners who were great company on the day, I am sure we are all looking forward the next event, probably the most important of the season, the President’s Cup, see you all at Elton.

** Since this outing, your Committee have held an emergency meeting to consider our response should any of our members be approached by LIV Golf and invited to join their tour with $4m on offer to the winner of each tournament down to $120,000 for the last placed player. Without hesitation, your Committee recommend you accept and take us all with you.

‘LAKES VENUE (WATER IN PLAY ON EIGHT HOLES) REFLECTED IN LOST BALL COUNT’

And another Follies member has been press ganged into journalism, kindly bear that in mind as you read on. Also be aware that the editorial licence consisted solely of ‘you write it and I’ll print it’

So whilst loosely based on fact, certain liberties may have been taken with the below report and whilst every effort to protect sensitive identities could have been taken, none was.

Well 17 eager golfers arrived at Thorney Lakes for a midday breakfast. Now I know I’m new to retirement but really? Clearly I have to re-set my body clock. Just the 9 hole fry up this year but all good apart from Steve Preston not liking the look of his tomato skin – this may have led to him and John Dexter both claiming the same cup of tea!

It was a welcome return for those unable to play last month and back in charge for the welcome and intros was Les, with news of another liquid prize kindly donated by Martin. Nearest the pin in two on the 16th to signal his imminent 60th birthday – cheers Martin

There was the usual gaggle of putters looking for inspiration prior to setting out to a backdrop of RAF jets and a strengthening breeze.

Some found it more difficult to get out of the car park to the 1st tee than others, let’s just call them the Buggy Boys.

An alleged parking incident, this time involving a trolley was reported from the 13th tee box but the culprit has been let off with a warning.

The round consisted as usual with the sublime more often followed by the ridiculous but a par on a par 5 celebration was heard across the course, let’s just say it was one of those hardy few in shorts. Another par, this time in 4, was I’m told largely due to a hugely favourable ricochet from a tree – perhaps it was a PB?

Which brings me to the Pillbox hole, a Dad’s Army photo

(don’t tell them your name Jim) was I thought the only way this WW11 relic would get a mention but No! Two players managed to hit it, with JK receiving an immovable object ruling from on course referee / caddy Kevin Hingle.

The total lost ball count was 36 – Les may care to bear this in mind when considering booking any 2023 venues that contain the words Lakes and Water. It should be noted that one group’s total of 6 contained 5 from one player, who also seemed to like 7 as a score…………..let’s just call him Top Cat

Most groups however reported a strong ‘found’ ball count to offset and even finish up neutral………..always good words these days.

Geoff’s well deserved birdie celebration on the par 5, 9th

And finally, Brian’s par on the par 3, 11th by sinking a 35 footer is worth a mention.

So there you have it, a thoroughly enjoyable day despite the wind requiring a driver off one par three tee for this player at least – prizes as follows:

Nearest the Pin – John Dexter

Nearest the Pin in two – Jon Kelly

Winner – Martin Zebedee (3 balls)

Second – John Dexter (already had a prize on the day)

Third – Geoff Delany (2 balls)

Fourth – Paul Bellinger (1 ball)

A quick reminder about submitting entries for the Shirtie award, I’m sure Chris is looking forward to judging entries once again from all over the world

Finally I would like to share a purely personal view that it would indeed be poor form if any annual subs were not paid before the third fixture of the season

See you all at Rutland Water!

A beautiful and cloudless spring afternoon at Spalding Golf Club greeted 16 Follies for the first event of the 2022 season. We welcomed 5 new players – Jim Daley, Philip Parker, Darren Pears, Keith Lambert and Paul Bellinger. Due to Covid we had some notable absentees, and we wish them all a speedy recovery. Geoff Delaney and David West were entrusted with running the day. They promptly promoted themselves from the last group to going out first! Who was it that said, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”?

Anyway, on to the golf. David West set the tone with a lovely drive straight down the first. His new driving swing worked well, and during his round he frequently showed his playing partners how to find the middle of the fairway. David scored 34 points which secured him 3rd place. Philip Parker also scored 34 and came 2nd on countback but the winner of the day was Colin Humphries with a magnificent 38 points. Nearest the pin was won by Richard Parker who took home the bottle of gin. Geoff Delaney was actually closer but was unfortunately 2 inches off the green! Richard didn’t show much sympathy pointing out he had hit a sand wedge whereas Geoff had used a 6 iron!

A special 4th place prize was given to Dave Ballard. The prize was the return of one of his head covers which he apparently tried several times to lose during his round. Nobody submitted an early entry to the annual Bunker Flunker competition but with the rest of the season ahead of us there is plenty of time yet.

After the golf we all had a hearty meal. Excellent value at £27 all in. Thanks to the Les for negotiating the deal and laying on the sunshine.

On to Thorney Lakes for the next outing on Thursday 21st April.

Results:

5th Kelly / Bates / Wells – 70

4th Parker / Delany / Carter – 68.9

3rd Zebedee / Keal / Fletcher / Bramwell – 68.8

2nd Dexter / Tooke / West / Oliver – 66.3

1st Phipps / Ballard / Preston – 65

Special mention to Dave Ballard who having heard he was a potential winner allowed his trolley to head off without him into the ditch:

The Supper was, once again, a very good evening with the following winners:

President’s Cup – Les Wells

Follies Trophy – Graeme Phipps

The Shirtie – David Carter

The evening was rounded off with a very good routine from our very own David Oliver:

A happy new year to everyone and I look forward to seeing you at the first fixture in March.

On a dull and gusty October day

17 golfers went out to play

Full of hopes and dreams of glory

But what would be the final story

~~

Burghley the venue where all would be told

A season’s efforts about to unfold

With everyone quiet and not even a sound

Steve P hit his drives straight out of bounds

A 17 scored on the very first hole

Was certainly not Steve’s original goal

~~

But the weather took hold

And shots went awry

Some out of bounds

And some in the sky

~~

Oh for the days of golfing bliss

When drives were straight and putts not missed

But this was not to be the day

When all would witness perfect play

~~

From tee to green the balls were hit

With some shouts of ‘fore’ and some shouts of ‘s..t’

David O’s trolley was left to roam free

And then found a bunker, Oh deary me!

~~

But one, Richard Cheng, had an excellent game

With 36 pts being scored to his name

And Richard Parker was nearest the pin

And a bottle of plonk was his to win

~~

But others didn’t fare so well

Some even thought their day was hell

But overall the day was fun

And once again, superbly run

~~

So just one thing to now sort out

Was the Follies Trophy still in doubt

Before the start there were possibly six

But who would triumph from this talented mix

Would Les play well and make it two on the trot

Or would someone prevent him from taking the lot

~~

Graeme Phipps seemed in no doubt

With Carter, Chapman, Ballard and Kelly there with a shout

A trophy at stake made the tension high

But one would be happy, five would just sigh

~~

We all had to wait until the dinner

To hear the results and know the winner

Les was the season’s runner-up

But Graeme won the Follies Cup       

~~ 

Our thoughts can now turn to next year’s jollies

But first, Happy Christmas to all you Follies

Fritz Follies Golf Society Stibbington Diner for Breakfast at 8.30am
Fritz Follies Golf Society Golf Supper Day Scramble at 10am
Fritz Follies Golf Society Annual Supper and Prize Giving 2021 at 6.30pm, sit down at 7:30pm

The Shirtie 2021

Still time for a late entry to challenge the two received so far:

Chris got 2021 going with this from…….Cambridge (you lose a point if you thought Milton Keynes):

David fulfils a lifetime ambition with his shirt on: